Iran, Gaza, Ukraine… Armed conflicts are dominating the news, and it is difficult for the younger generation to avoid them. So how can we talk to children about war without worrying them too much? How can we find the right words to describe the international situation? We asked a specialist.
The war in the Middle East and its consequences are on everyone’s mind. From Iran’s attacks on its neighbors to Israeli bombings in Lebanon, to French tourists stranded abroad, and rising gas prices… It’s hard to escape the international news, its upheavals, and its violence.
The images and words can be difficult for adults to see and hear, let alone for children. For the younger ones, this information can lead to questioning, incomprehension, and even stress and anxiety.
“Will the war come back? What do we do if planes drop bombs on us? If we hide in the bedroom closet, do you think the soldiers will find us?” It’s not always easy to find the right words to answer children’s questions about war.
Éric Bui, psychiatrist and global expert on post-traumatic stress disorder, teaching at the University of Caen, gives us some advice on how to communicate with children in these troubled times.
– France 3: What to do when a child expresses fear of a war breaking out? Éric Bui: It’s important to listen to their worries and not deny them. When there is war, it’s dangerous and obviously scary. Reassure them that they are safe and that there are people working every day to prevent war.
-Can we really explain the situation to children, tell them the truth? Éric Bui: There’s no point in hiding what’s happening. Children sense and hear things. They’re like sponges. It’s important to tell them the truth gently, so the parent can keep their composure and reassure them.
“If there is war, there is war. And if it happens, we are here to protect you. It’s important to explain that adults are here to protect children. What we shouldn’t convey to them is a sense of helplessness: not ‘it’s going to happen, we won’t know what to do.’ But rather: ‘if it happens, people will know what to do and we will protect you.'”
Éric Bui: It’s normal. The worst scenario is when parents are scared, it shows, and they hide it, not explaining their fears to the children. It’s better to wait until the child is not around to discuss the topic among adults, like in a couple. Adults can be anxious behind closed doors, but not in front of the child.
-Should we turn off the TV during the news when with children? Éric Bui: Not necessarily, because the news “protects” people by warning of sensitive images. This message is not for nothing, it’s for parents to say: “at this moment, I will protect my child.”
What’s more difficult is what circulates on the internet and is not filtered by the media. A child can surf online alone or with parents, and a page can open with inappropriate images. This is not well controlled, so it is necessary to be extra vigilant.
This article was first published in March 2025.
